By Eva Fydrych
Photo: Freepik
For years, we’ve been sold a lie: that success is found in a crowded room, clutching a cocktail and frantically exchanging business cards. I’ve seen it all, from the fancy Singapore rooftops to the most impressive events in London and New York. But according to organizational psychologist Adam M. Grant, a professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, and confirmed by my own years of observation, this approach is wildly overrated.
In his article for The New York Times, "Good News for Young Strivers: Networking Is Overrated," Professor Grant argues that tirelessly chasing contacts is a hollow pursuit. The core reasons this strategy fails are:
1. It's Superficial and Ineffective: Posing with successful people for your Instagram feed creates only an illusion of importance. Countless conversations and business card exchanges lead nowhere, often culminating in empty promises made because people are in a good mood, under the influence, or simply being polite.
2. It Diminishes Your Value: Constant networking can frame you as a fan or a follower, not a peer or a partner. You become part of someone else's audience instead of building your own platform. I learned that being the person everyone wants to meet is far more powerful than wanting to meet everyone.
Late nights and overpriced drinks –the unglamorous reality of fashion "networking". (Photo: Pixabay)
3. You Chase Instead of Attracting: The energy spent going from one party to another is energy diverted from your actual craft. You end up chasing people instead of giving them a compelling reason to seek you out.
"Not long ago, I watched a colleague try to climb the ladder of success solely through networking. For a few years, he managed to meet increasingly influential people and introduce them to one another. Eventually it fell apart when they realized he didn’t have a meaningful connection with any of them. Networking alone leads to empty transactions, not rich relationships." - Adam M. Grant
4. Real Opportunities Are Often Unseen: True success isn't manufactured in the spotlight. The most valuable connections and business opportunities are frequently forged far away from the glittering parties, based on merit and shared purpose. The most significant deal of my career was sealed over a quiet coffee, not a loud champagne toast.
The verdict from Professor Grant's work, which mirrors my own journey, is clear: Don't chase people and events. Build something first.
This philosophy shifts the focus from access to expertise. Instead of asking, "Who do I know?" the question becomes, "What do I know, and what can I do with it?" This is how you build a reputation that precedes you, making you a magnet for opportunity rather than a hunter of it.
The most powerful network you can build is the one based on your skills,
not your social calendar. (Photo: Pixabay)
Now, this isn’t to say that a strong network isn’t important—it is incredibly valuable. But the right network isn't collected; it is built organically over the years as a natural byproduct of your work, your integrity, and your professional achievements. Have something substantive to attract the right kind of people. Then, continue to improve, be yourself, and let your work do the talking.
The goal isn't to know everyone; it's to be known for something.
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