Monday, June 15, 2020


By Maria Dadoyan

How to Beat Your Inner Bully
to Build More Confidence

Photo courtesy of Unsplash

All of us have struggled with a lack of confidence at one point or another in our lives preventing you from pursuing your passion, stopped you from speaking up, or held you back from taking a leap of faith. It might have also made you feel less than, convinced you that you just weren’t good enough and that other people have it better than you. These beliefs are what I call the Inner Bully and these limiting thoughts can not only hold you back from being the best version of yourself, but are in control of your every action, decision and behavior. In this post, I’ll share how I overcame my own struggles with this and how you can build your confidence.

I used to struggle with a very strong Inner Bully that convinced me I wasn’t smart as everybody else so it would be better to just keep my mouth shut. And for a long time, I actually believed the words of this Bully. So I would sit there, keeping my mouth shut in meetings, in conversations and in social situations because I just didn’t want people finding out that I wasn’t that intelligent. I was afraid of saying the wrong thing and embarrassing myself and risking utter humiliation. Needless to say, this wasn’t the most pleasant feeling to live with so I decided to do something about it.

Photo courtesy of Unsplash

Fast forward many years later, not only have I completely reversed those beliefs about myself, I have taken bold actions in my life my Inner Bully would have never allowed me to take. I have written a best-selling book (while my Bully tried telling me “Who are you to write a book?”). I stand on big stages and give keynote speeches to hundreds of people at a time. Being shy and introverted in the past, I never imagined that I would one day be confident enough to fulfill these dreams. Although my Inner Bully likes to still peep its head sometimes, I now have the tools to help me quickly deal with it so it doesn’t get in my way.

One of the tools I like to use before I go up on stage is something called Power Poses. This is something I learned from Amy Cuddy, who has researched confidence and how it works in the body. She suggested that our body language governs how we think and feel about ourselves, so the way we hold our bodies can have an impact on our minds. In other words, by commanding a powerful stance, we can make ourselves actually feel more powerful. She recommends holding a power pose like the Wonder Woman pose or putting your hands up in the air like you just won a marathon for at least two minutes. Doing this will change how you feel about yourself and increase your feelings of power and confidence. I recommend holding this pose before going into an interview, a presentation or high-stakes meeting. Changing your posture can have an almost immediate effect on how you feel and can help you build more confidence.

Photo courtesy of Unsplash

If you’re looking for a step-by-step guide to helping you overcome the obstacles to your self-confidence, then look no further. I’ve designed an online course called Beat the Inner Bully & Build Self-Confidence which includes proven exercises and tools you’ll need to feel more self-worth, self-esteem and confidence to go after your goals and dreams. You no longer have to live with an inner bully that constantly whispers in your ear trying to convince you to give up your passions and desires. Get the course for the low price of $97 today and take the first step in beating your inner bully

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